Saving Juliet

Saving Juliet is a book that is loaded with platitudes and wise homilies and never, not once...do you want to tell the author that she should mind her sanctimonious beeswax and get on with the plot already!

So kudos to Suzanne Selfors for getting it right yet again.

Seventeen year old Mimi Wallingford is last in the line of the legendary Wallingford actors. Thrust onto the stage from the age of three, Mimi’s life has been a whirl of grease paint, deadweight costumes, mouthy dialogues, unpalatable health food, pushy relatives and vindictive understudies. And now, when it’s time to play the role of the anguished Juliet from William Shakespeare’s celebrated tragic-romance, she just can’t take it anymore. Debilitating stage-fright, the hopeless wish to pursue a career as a doctor, constant pressure from a pushy mother and an unrequited attraction to the new Romeo (played by the flamboyant pop-sensation, Troy Summer) makes Mimi wish that she were anywhere but at the Wallingford theatre, Manhattan. Hell, even Verona would be a better bet.

But wishes spouted in despair have a sadistic habit of actually coming true; especially when you have an antique Shakespearean Charm handy. Suddenly Mimi is transported to the fictional land of Verona...the land of the feuding Montague and Capulet families...the land of Romeo and Juliet. Mimi is now smack-dab in the midst of a vile, hairline-plucked Lady Capulet; a codpiece thrusting Tybalt, a delectable, espresso-eyed Benvolio, a deeply depressed Romeo, a rebellious Juliet and the most shocking addition yet, a seriously pissed-off Troy Summer who’s convinced that he has been kidnapped by a group of kinky creeps.

Mimi can sense that the only way to return to present-day Manhattan would be to allow the Shakespearean saga to reach it’s inevitable end. But having actually met the spunky Juliet and the soft-hearted Romeo, Mimi can’t imagine leaving them to the suicidal ending written by our benevolent Bard. It’s time for Mimi to take the quill into her own hands.

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Reasons why this tale will find a place on my “Books-I-Love-Gollum-Style” shelf:

a) Cheeky cover. How can you NOT love the cover art? Bubblegum and Snazzy glares adorning a seemingly genteel olde worlde maiden. Me.Like.

b) Female Lead. A supposedly self-absorbed Society princess plonked head first into a land infested with giants rodents but not a single Starbucks. You would expect her to whinge, cringe and generally be an insufferable snob. But no, Mimi is an immensely grounded heroine. Whether she’s playing big-sister to Juliet or commiserating with Romeo or avoiding a red-faced Tybalt or falling for the slick charms of Benvolio or fighting her confusing feelings for Troy; she endears herself to the reader.

c) Characters. The author breathed realistic life and tongue-in-cheek humour into the characterisations.

I especially liked the way she described Juliet :“She wasn’t at all like Fernando’s Juliet – full-lipped and perfect. Nor was she like Hollywood’s Juliet – graceful and angelic. She looked real, the way a girl is supposed to look. A real girl, cute and full of energy, like she’d be more comfortable in soccer gear than in her long nightgown that dripped with lace and bows.”

Scarlet-haired Mercutio was a twee funny bloke. I snorted a bit over his two love songs:

‘Girl, come hither and We Shall Dither’

‘Girl, Come and Handle My Candle’

Ah, Mercutio....Mercutio....you slay me, man.

d) The author’s writing prowess : Everytime you experience a twinge of disappointment over glaring errors in the flow of the story, the author gives you a polite prod in the right direction and justifies her decisions.

e) Book to Movie : If ever a book should be made into an assured crowd-pulling Summer Blockbuster, it’s Saving Juliet. The book has it all: humour, parody, romance, intrigue, adventure and magic. I would go and watch it on the Big Screen. AND I would most definitely drag my cynical mates along too.

In conclusion, I (to be a tad juvenile) unashamedly *HEART* this cute book.

Coffeehouse Angel

Every once in a while, along comes a book that is (thankfully) deceptive. You read the blurb and do a mental rethink. The blurb sounds entertaining and yet, the book could go downhill, too soon, too fast. I ventured into Coffeehouse Angel with these misgivings. But, I’m pleased to report that I’m a happy customer.

And now it’s time to blather on for a bit and tell you why exactly I would recommend this book to all:

a) Engrossing Plotline: Katrina Svensen is an orphaned teenager who helps out in her grandmother’s Olde Worlde Scandinavian Coffeehouse. Soft of heart and clueless on life-goals, she basks in the shadows of her super-achieving best friends. And one day, when she sees a (supposedly) homeless young vagrant in the coffeehouse alley, she does a selfless good deed. She leaves him a cup of coffee, some day old pastries and a bag of chocolate covered coffee beans and hopes that the poor bloke gets a lucky break.

But here’s the nice bit. The vagrant isn’t a homeless destitute afterall. He’s an angel...an honest-to-goodness teenage messenger angel. In between missions and delivering messages, he wants to reward Katrina for her good deed by granting her the deepest desire of her heart. With three chocolate coffee beans left to work the magic, Katrina has three Godsend chances to make things right...for herself, her aspirations, her gran’s dwindling business and an uncertain future.

Will she botch it up or will she have a happy ending?

b) Believable Main Lead: I like a grounded teen heroine whose every waking thought isn’t plagued by her D.O.A. love-life. Katrina is just that. Sure she hasn’t met the boy of her dreams yet, but the mature lass has more pressing matters on hand. For a girl who has a cupboard full of failed activities, it’s empowering to see her whip herself into an entrepreneurial frenzy.

c) An ensemble cast with meaty roles : The strength of a good book lies in the little details. Besides Katrina, Coffeehouse Angel is littered with interesting characters. Notable mention: Katrina’s grandmother who is trying to keep the old traditions alive while fiercely competing with the slushie-pushing, espresso-churning charms of her biggest competitor. The beautiful, hardworking coffeehouse help, Irmgaard who has taken a vow of silence; a vow that hides a tragic secret. Katrina’s best friends: Vincent and Elizabeth. Extremely realistic portrayals as they come across as self-absorbed and supportive in equal measures.

d) Paranormal twist: Much as I love all things supernatural, I was a tad sceptical about yet another glowing boy (I haven’t stopped gritting my teeth over the insufferable Edward Cullen). But Malcolm, the golden haired messenger angel was a breath of (literally) fresh spring air. He’s not perfect, he’s weighed down by the need to get things right, he doesn’t spend the majority of the book mooning over a “forbidden love” and to round it up nicely, he’s a genuinely decent bloke.

In all, I was happy to lay my hands on a work of Ya-Lit that was readable, mature, riddled with interesting plot twists and redolent with the charm of a (yes, I’m going to say it) cup of freshly brewed coffee.

Last Sacrifice (Vampire Academy, #6)

Guardian par excellence, Rose Hathaway has been accused of royal treason : murdering Moroi Queen Tatiana. Imprisoned for a crime she didn’t commit, facing possible execution and gobsmacked by a cryptic note from the late Queen; Rose’s future is coloured with varying shades of bleak and despair.

But a daring prison break, a road trip with ex-boyfriend Dimitri Belikov and a path strewn with danger, deceit, unexpected allies, missing siblings and the ever-present spirit-induced darkness has Rose racing towards an action packed climax.

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The concluding instalment of the Vampire Academy series was a fat, easy read. It wasn’t earth-shatteringly amazing. At the same time, it wasn’t prop-your-eyelids-open-with-toothpicks boring. Last Sacrifice was a neat(a little too neat) tying up of the saga surrounding best friends Rose and Lissa.

I’m always game for a happy ending, but tend to get a little disgruntled when my favourite characters (read : Adrian Ivashkov) get a raw deal. And yes, I’m aware of the fact that there’s a spin-off to the series. But sometimes, as in life, all I want to say is that, “It’s just not fair”.

For a change, the Rose-Dimitri love saga paled. And no, I have no complaints. Instead the author concentrated on the bonds of friendship and unstinted (yet practical) support which was displayed in admirable degrees by Rose’s near, dear and demented ones.

A readable conclusion to a dramatic series.

Spirit Bound (Vampire Academy, #5)

Rose Hathaway’s Quest in Book #5 :

~Bring back the man that I love and killed in Book # 4 whose murder I botched up (conveniently) despite being one of the most bada** Strigoi killers in recent times~

Blood Promise ended with the tantalising cliffhanger of Strigoi Dimitri being still alive despite the killer stake being driven into him by Rose. Rose also (I would like to reiterate: very very conveniently) discovered that there was a way to restore a Strigoi back to his original state. What follows is a return to St.Vladmir’s less-than-hallowed grounds, a prison breakout, the maiming and murdering of innocents and some romantic angst.

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I had mixed feelings for this book. I loathed Rose’s portrayal in the first half. Rose is a novice Dhampir training to be a Guardian...a Guardian who places the protection of the Moroi above all things personal. And Rose always knew that keeping Lissa safe and sound was the main objective. While it led to a battle of wills within her, she never wilfully put Lissa in danger. So how come, now that there’s a chance to resurrect Dimitri, she not only involves Lissa in the bad plan but drags her out on a seriously dangerous mission, endangering the last surviving member of the Dragomir clan? It didn't ring true. That’s not what Rose mental makeup is made of. And the fact that innocent humans and Guardians meet a sticky end just because they were caught in the middle of the Rose-Dimitri angsty saga also stuck in my throat. Rose displayed a pang (a miniscule pang) for the innocent lives lost but continued on her quest to bring back her undead lover. Selfish much???

And then......the second half kind of redeems itself to some extent. I can’t say how because that would lead to flingin-flangin’ spoilers galore.

So yes, Spirit Bound was a little blimp in a successful series.

Blood Promise (Vampire Academy, #4)

“I am off to kill the man that I love.”

Okay, that’s a dramatic enough premise to tempt you into devouring Blood Promise.

Shadow Kiss ended with Supernova Guardian/ All-Around Nice Guy/ The Cream in Rose Hathaway’s Coffee : Dimitri Belikov getting forcibly turned into a Strigoi. He is now out there somewhere, being a creature of the night, draining innocents of blood and generally living up to all the vile Strigoi stereotypes.

Remembering an unsaid promise made to Dimitri back when they were in a student-mentor relationship, the anguished Rose has now made it her life’s mission to seek out and (hopefully) kill *Dimitri with the chalk-white skin and red-ringed eyes*.

And to do so, she drops out of the Academy, parts ways with her best friend (and bond mate) Lissa Dragomir and heads off on a wild-vampire chase to Siberia. Why Siberia, you ask? Siberia is Dimitri’s homeland and he is more than likely to return to his roots. So, on Rose’s suicidal quest…we take the scenic route through Russia, run into a host of interesting (and most likely to play a crucial role in the future) characters and root for the troubled Dhampir girl as she finds herself in a Catch-22 situation.

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Blood Promise was good….not as good as the previous two instalments….but engrossing, nevertheless. It has a slightly meandering pace and at times, you actually want the touristic spiel to end and have Rose meet the undead Dimitri already!!!

I had a bit of trouble empathizing with a high-on-Vampire-Bite-Endorphins Rose, but that’s a minor grouse. Dimitri as a newly turned big, bad Vampire could have been well on his way to filling up the illustrious shoes of Angel. I still remember tearing up during the Buffy episode when the likeable Vampire Angel, who after experiencing a “moment of pure happiness (erm….intimacy with Buffy)”, morphs into the cruel, soulless Angelus. Potent stuff, that. I was expecting the same sucker-punching of emotions when Rose ran into the now evil Dimitri. Sadly, Angel/Angelus still remains the Poster-Boy of undead perfection.

In conclusion, the book was fair. It had a juicy dose of undead action scenes, the introduction of a new nemesis at St.Vladimir’s and Rose rising like the proverbial phoenix.

Shadow Kiss (Vampire Academy, #3)

“They come first”

The Moroi come first. This is the edict that has always been drilled into Dhampirs as they train to become Guardians for the Moroi. No hemming….no hawing….no dithering. When it comes to keeping the Strigoi at bay, the Moroi will always come first.

Rose Hathaway has loyally followed this rule all her rebellious life. But, for the first time she is questioning her belief system.

Frostbite ended with the violent death of her close friend and admirer Mason at the hands of the Strigoi. And while Rose herself killed the murdering Strigoi, she can’t let the guilt over Mason’s death wane. Mason intensifies this feeling by appearing as a silent ghostly apparition…an apparition who is visible only to Rose. Rose is worried sick that she’s going crazy. No one seems to believe her. And most believe that the ghostly sightings can be attributed to Rose suffering from *Post Traumatic Stress Disorder*.

Add to that the fact that Rose appears to be harbouring dark and violent shades of anger within her. While Rose has never exactly been a shrinking violet, she wonders whether the anger is the fallout of her mental bond with Lissa.

Bond with Lissa +

Lissa actively using her powerful element ‘Spirit’ +

The depression and darkness that is the side-effect of using ‘Spirit’ +

The fact that Rose is ‘shadow-kissed’+

The legend of St.Vladimir and his shadow-kissed Anna =

One very troubled, tortured and severely tried teenage dhampir.

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This series absolutely justifies it’s popularity. Yet again, Richelle Mead dishes out supremely cool Vamp-action. Rosemarie (Rose) Hathaway joins the ranks of my all-time favourite fictional heroines. She leaves all the {sappy-self-absorbed-my-hero-glows-like-a-firework-and-the-rest-of-the-world-can-go-hang} pathetic excuses for female leads in the dust. She is : A warrior who is finally questioning his loyalty - A teenager who has to choose between her best friend and her soulmate - A girl who is fighting for her sanity and her life.

*GO HATHAWAY!*

I also like the Rose-Dimitri love story. It is never gag-inducing and almost always, heart-wrenchingly readable. Adrian Ivashkov as the third (hardly-there) part of the love triangle is someone you can root for. For all his snarky comments and booze-induced hazes, he projects himself as the trustworthy chap that you would want for a friend.

And finally….the Strigoi. I loved the air of menace that the author built up. When I read the line, “They’re …coming…” , it conveyed such a rigid block of dread, anxiety and blind-panic that I actually felt a shiver run down my spine. The ensuing battle and it’s disastrous outcome couldn’t have produced a better cliff hanger.

Brilliant pace…..ever-evolving characters……the scent of revolution in the air….Buffy-worthy action….and a storyline that keeps you hooked, lined and sinkered all the way.

Frostbite (Vampire Academy, #2)

“My name’s Rose Hathaway.

I’m seventeen years old, training to protect and kill vampires, in love with a completely unsuitable guy, and have a best friend whose weird magic drives her crazy.

Hey, no one said high school would be easy.”

That wry passage, in the tradition of the best opening sequences of summer supernatural blockbusters, pretty much sums up what the first book in the series was all about and at the same time lays the groundwork for Book #2.

For a better understanding of the jargon used in this book, please check out my review on Vampire Academy (Vampire Academy, #1). No, am not making a sneaky, underhanded attempt to grab eyeballs, but if I go through another long-winded spiel on Moroi, Strigoi and Dhampir, I’m liable to fling myself on the closest, easily available silver stake.

Frostbite ups the ante on the vamp-drama. A group of rogue Strigoi have been attacking and murdering Moroi and their seasoned Guardians. In an attempt to keep the students of St.Vladimir’s Academy safe , it has been decided that this year’s Winter Break will be spent in a heavily guarded Ski Lodge owned by an affluent Moroi family.

Rose meanwhile has to deal with the icky fact that her mental bond with Lissa is becoming uncomfortable. Vasilisa (Lissa) Dragomir is on prescribed meds in an attempt to control the depression that is brought about by wielding the element ‘Spirit’. On the happier side, Lissa has entered into a full-bodied (in every sense of the word) relationship with fellow royal and social outcast, Christian Ozera. While this is a healthy arrangement for the love-struck pair, it proves to be a bit *eepy-cray* for Rose. She finds herself in a voyeuristic position as she is pulled into Lissa’s mind during the latter’s hot-and-heavy make out sessions with Christian.

The ticked off Dhampir also has to deal with

a) Her strong feelings for her mentor : Dimitri Belikov (who doesn’t appear to be reciprocating her love)

b) Her reluctance to enter into a relationship with her close friend, fellow Dhampir and all-around nice guy : Mason (who doesn’t exactly rouse the flame of roaring passion in her)

c) The not-sure-it’s-exactly-unwelcome attention of the booze guzzling, clove-cigarette smoking bad boy Moroi royal : Adrian Ivashkov (who appears to be interested in Rose in ‘that’ way and also interested in Lissa in, well... not ‘that’ way).

Adding spice to the proceedings is the appearance of the legendary Guardian (and coincidentally Rose’s mother), Janine Hathaway. Rose shares a hate-hate relationship with her seemingly unfeeling mother and is not exactly thrilled to have her around, witnessing her daughter’s flaws at such close quarters.

Juggling three guys, dealing with parental issues, trying to keep Lissa safe and go through Guardian training....all while trying to attain a level of maturity and resisting the ever-present urge to kick snarky students into oblivion......Rose has her work cut out. But all this will pale in significance when she finally comes face to face with their deadliest enemies : the Strigoi.

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VERDICT : LOVED IT!

This is an engrossing, take-shade-from-the-sun, kick-a** Vamp-Lit offering. Rose as a character has settled into your subconscious. You are familiar with her strengths and her flaws. You can now have a firm opinion of whether you want to follow her story or turn away in boredom. For me, it was the former option.

Rose walks the thin line between being a rebellious teenager and a warrior-in-training with ease. It’s a credit to the author that she makes you empathize with a stunningly beautiful girl who could easily (and derogatorily) have been labelled as a ‘skank’. You never feel the urge to snort inelegantly and make sarcastic asides in your brain as she goes through the motions of affection, lust and love with three vastly different (but all, supremely handsome and likeable) heroes.

I especially like the last half of the story when Rose truly becomes a heroine who would make Ellen Ripley weep with pride. No longer is she a juvenile delinquent who gets pulled up for brewing trouble. She evolves into a young woman who watches a loved one die before her eyes and in turn, summons death and battles evil with a brutal elegance.

Frostbite was a worthy sequel and outranked it’s predecessor by leaps and bounds.

Vampire Academy (Vampire Academy, #1)

Before I waded into the book, I did a quick wiki-tutorial on Moroi, Strigoi and Dhampirs.

As per the crib-notes,
MOROI = Good (and goodlooking) mortal vampires.
STRIGOI = Bad (also goodlooking but with a red ring of evil in their eyes that dampens down the hormones) immortal vampires.
DAMPHIRS = offspring of Moroi fathers and human mothers (quite a sight for sore-eyes too). They serve as Guardians for the Moroi who are under constant threat from the seemingly infallible Strigoi.

Book One in the Vampire Academy Series introduces us to two teenage girls:Vasilisa (Lissa) Dragomir, a royal Moroi and her best friend, Rosemarie (Rose) Hathaway who is a dhampir and a soon-to-be-Guardian. Certain bizarre and unexplainable incidents had forced the two girls to flee St. Vladimir's Academy. But now, after two years of running free, the two girls have been forcibly escorted back to the Academy. It’s time to get back their lost social standing....break a few more hearts....indulge in a tad more dangerous activities and generally try to keep themselves sane and alive as they go about their daily supernatural classes. Amidst the doses of bitchiness and downright nastiness that the duo face at regular intervals, they also have to deal with certain darker secrets. Secrets that should best remain hidden....secrets, that if revealed, would at the very least make Lissa a social pariah and at the most, be the cause of her untimely death.
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Vampire Academy adopts the middle ground between being:
a) Light Years ahead of *Twilight*
b) Miles to reach the supreme sheer unadulterated awesomeness of the wholly perfect offering that was *Buffy The Vampire Slayer*.

I liked the fact that the story was told from Rose’s POV. A smart-talking, forever-flirting, talking-with-her-fists-first kind of narrator is preferable to the waif-like, milksop voice of Lissa. Rose is the quintessential lean, mean, fighting-machine. She’s all tough-girl clichés rolled into a promising package. The fact that she’s blessed with a curvy body and a healthy helping of rampant hormones never makes her retract from her main aim in life : To protect Lissa and eventual become her official Guardian. Tall, long-haired and super-ripped Guardian Dimitri Belikov makes a believable love-interest for Rose. Despite the fact that the author made the sappy error of calling him “Death in a Cowboy Duster”, he still came across as your everyday, likeable, superamped bodyguard with-a-past. He did mouth a couple of syrupy lines that made me do an *eye-roll* but also, I’m ashamed to admit, made me go 'aww' inside my head.

Another aspect that I enjoyed was the effortless incorporation of vampire myths into the ever-churning teen drama. The tale of St.Vladimir and his shadow-kissed Anna was worked in nicely into the chaos that surrounds Rose and Lissa.

My only grouse is that the fighting-fit Rose should have been given more Buffy-style-punch-and-stake action time. But then again, with five more books in the series, I guess there will be enough opportunities to put ye oldesilver stake to noble use.

Vampire Academy wasn’t a book that I loved but neither was it a book that made me cringe. The story flows at an even pace. The fledgling romances are interesting enough to light a flicker of interest. And the promise of impending action is sufficient to make me head out and grab the sequel.

My Fairy Fair Godmother

“Aren’t fairy godmothers supposed to be nice and make you feel better about yourself?”
“No, you’re confusing fairy godmothers with sales clerks.”

And that’s Fairy Fair Godmother Chrysanthemum (Chrissy) Everstarfor you. A self-absorbed, mall-scouring, gum-chewing teen Godmother who doesn’t believe in sugar coating the pill. It would have helped if Chrissy had the intelligence and the maturity to back the tough-love. Sadly, it isn't so. There’s a reason why she’s called a “fair” godmother. It has nothing to do with her undoubtedly alabaster complexion and everything to do with the fact that she’s an average student at Fairy Godmother School who botches up her assignments on a regular basis.

So what happens when a slightly ditzy godmother gets assigned an equally ditzy charge?

Say hello to said ditzy charge: Savannah Delano. Despite being one of the prettiest, most popular and obviously not-so-smartest girls in high school, Savannah has to go through the unexpected heartbreak of having her buff boyfriend ditch her in favour of her elder, plainer and quite-a-good-deal sharper sister, Jane. In a fit of despair and in the aftermath of snarfing down too many complex-carbs, she wonders whether she will meet a “Prince of a Guy” who will escort her to the upcoming prom. (Un)luckily enough for Savannah, she is Chrissy’s next assignment. The “I’m –getting-late-to-plunder- the-mall-and-bat-my-lashes-at-hunky-elves” godmother grants the broken-hearted girl three wishes. Whether it’s an inability on Savannah’s part to articulate her deepest desires or it’s sheer negligence on Chrissy’s part, but the three precious wishes go awry. Big Time.

Soon, Savannah finds herself zapped into the middle-ages as she searches for her Prince Charming. She does a bit of unwilling time-travel as she finds herself first as Cinderella, second as Snow White and third, in a dangerous situation of having to rescue a fellow student, Tristan who got transported to medieval times, courtesy Chrissy’s godmotherly shenanigans.
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*Reasons why I loved this book*

1)The protagonist : Kudos to the author for making readers root for the much-loathed cliché of high-school literature – *The Popular Girl*. The perfectly coiffed, super-hot girl who leaves her rather uptight sister in the shadows more often than not gets her comeuppance as the plot proceeds. That’s the way the world rights it’s axis. After years of ardently supporting the wise-cracking underdog, I never thought that I would appreciate a supposedly vacuous bimbo so much. Savannah is a refreshing YA-lit heroine who is the perfect example of superficiality shielding a kind heart.

2)The (is he/isn't he) love-interest : Tristan is the stuff of teen dreams. He is the kind of hero that makes Tumblr. loyalists go into a creative frenzy as they whip up gooey animated gifs devoted to his awesomeness. Shaggy blonde hair, light blue eyes,wicked sense of humour and a willingness to slay the odd ogre/dragon/unwelcome suitor. What more could a relatively heart-whole teenager ask for?

3)Dialogue : My Fairy Fair Godmother has some of the freshest lines to be churned out by a YA-Lit author in a long time . The repartee is crisp, funny and flows with an ease borne of familiarity with teen banter. The author, blessed with five children has used all the dinner-table quips and retorts to effective use.

4)Putting the GRIMm back in Fairy Tales : Rallison’s analyses of the medieval lasses and their seemingly perfect love stories is hilarious. Why didn’t the storytellers of yore ever mention that a Prince had to be more than just handsome, sinewy-armed and broad-shouldered? Why didn’t the old tales ever remember that the middle-ages came unequipped with basic hygiene and creature comforts? The author knocks off the rose-colored glasses with a sassy twitch of her wand and has you chuckling at the real-truth behind doe-eyed (and sadly, dim-witted) maids from the Middle-Ages.

To reiterate, I was truly enchanted by this fairy tale. It tackled stereotypes, employed witticisms effectively, had a sweet love-story waiting to happen and had all the trappings of a first-class adventure.

Read the book and come away with a huge smile etched across your face.

Epic Fail

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Elise Benton = Elizabeth Bennet
Derek Edwards = Fitzwilliam Darcy
Juliana Benton = Jane Bennet
Chase Baldwin = Charles Bingley
Webster Grant = George Wickham
EPIC FAIL = The Ya-Lit version of PRIDE AND PREJUDICE
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And that’s what the book is all about in a nutshell.

But being a die-hard Pride and Prejudice fan means that I would like to ramble on for a bit.

Elise Benton and her three sisters are the newest students at Coral Tree Prep, LA. The effluent school is littered with the rich, poutingly-perfect, privileged offspring of some of the country’s biggest and smallest celebrities. Coupled with the fact that Elise’s mother is the school’s new (highly unpopular, slightly bizarre and extremely regimented) principal, this means that the Benton sisters have a steep social-path to climb. Elise finds herself as a reluctant member of one of the most hallowed cliques in the school when Juliana catches the eye and admiration of Derek Edwards’ affable best friend, Chase Baldwin.

And who, pray tell, is Derek Edwards?

Derek, with his sullen superstar good looks, is a God among the twittering demigods of Coral Tree Prep. He is the offspring of Hollywood’s most famous celebrity couple and is pretty much the uncrowned prince of the school. While Elise is not exactly immune to Derek’s rare smiles and flashes of warmth, neither is she floored by his snootiness and odd tendency to sometimes act like a Grad A Jerk. Instead, she prefers the sunnier charms of social outcast, Webster Grant.

And lo and behold! The saga of Lizzy and Darcy comes alive in a new and revamped setting.
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Elizabeth Bennet is one of my all-time favourite fictional heroines. She was someone I aspired to be. In a time when other damsels were simpering and clucking and having fainting frenzies, Lizzie was the exception. Strong-willed, a tad opinionated, not prone to frills and fancies and yet... a simpatico young lady who was doused with wit and wisdom. Fitzwilliam Darcy is my eternal fictional crush. I never tire of the seemingly snobbish gentleman who yearned for the love of Lizzie despite his better and questionable judgement.

Epic Fail did a brilliant job of modernising my favourite duo. Elise Benton was an intelligent heroine who never acted like a lovelorn loon. Derek Edwards was brooding Darcy brought to preppy life. The dialogue was quirky and smart and a throwback to the banter from ’10 Things I Hate About You’. The Benton family was the embarrassing coterie that we cringed over in the original story. And then ofcourse, we have the plot twists and the character follies that symbolize misplaced pride and unfounded prejudices.

I judge the power of an engaging read by it’s ability to compel me to finish it at a fiendish pace. I was done with this book in half-a-day. It’s not a classic. It’s not perfect. It has a few pitfalls. And no, don’t go by it’s lack-lustre cover.
It’s a bendy, light-hearted summer read that does justice to the mother of all chick-lit books.

In short (and I know it’s hackneyed), the book is an EPIC WIN.