Kiss, Date, Love, Hate

LEX<-->GEORGE<-->JESS<-->DREW<-->GEMMA<-->MATT

Lex used to carry on with Matt. Due to a certain incident, Lex broke up with Matt. Matt is now getting hot ‘n’ heavy with Gemma. Jess and George are Lex’s two best friends. George is madly in love with Jess but Jess does not reciprocate his feelings. Jess has a step-cousin, Drew. Drew gets along splendidly with Lex as buddies-in-perpetual-trouble. Lex, however, may also be attracted to Drew. But how is that possible when Lex knows that she is still pining over Matt?

Bizarre permutations and combinations in the game of Love?

Juvenile rants galore?

The onset of a migraine in the horizon?

Is that what this book seems like to you?


Well, prepare to be surprised....pleasantly.
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Our heroine, Lex Murphy, is a tad ticked off with life. She has broken up with the universally loved and much adulated Matt. Now, she has to watch her ex-best friend and presentday Master back-stabber, Gemma cling like the proverbial limpet onto Matt’s arm. Sadly, Lex isn’t even your average intellectual bada** at all things educational. Her attention wanders in class and she is frustrated with her inability to grasp subjects quickly. She has herself convinced that she is an utter dunce and has resigned herself to spending most of her school years burning a Lex shaped imprint in the the chair outside the principal’s office.

Not that’s she’s complaining about that. The *Lex shaped imprint in the chair outside the principal’s office* that. And WHY is she not complaining? Because, more often than not, giving her company in the truant’s corner is Drew. The utterly delicious bad boy Drew who is blessed with a Scottish accent. Drew has a wicked sense of humour, a devil-may-care attitude and some seriously sweltering good looks. Yep, the fantasy male brought to life. Not that Lex is attracted to Drew. Lex wouldn’t dream of ...well, dreaming of Drew. Drew happens to be Lex’s best friend Jess’s much abhorred step-cousin and Lex definitely doesn’t want to upset Jess.

Jess’s other best friend is the delightfully Victorian (in attire and mannerisms) supergeek, George. Dear dutiful George is despondently in love with Jess. Dear, even more dutiful Jess, though doesn’t believe in the distracting influences of school romances. Studies (and shudder-inducingly enough, the principal) are her mental pin-up icons and she intends to keep her pretty l'il nose well within her books.

Which leaves Lex without the joys of a girly best friend and dependent on the reluctant company of a besotted boyo best friend. George, the quintessential Harry Potter/ Lord of The Rings/ blanket Gaming fan and Lex spend a lot of time testing out computer games and moping over their respectively dismal love lives. During one such quest, they discover a weird Sims-inspired game wherein creating profiles and personalities (based on themselves and their friends) causes actual concrete changes in the lives of their friends. Changes that are mental, physical and all together too delicious despotic to control.
Suddenly Lex is curvier, George has deep blue eyes and Matt seems to be intent on ditching Gemma and falling for Lex.
Gloryski!
Or is it?
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Kiss Date Love Hate with it’s pink cover stamped with pixelated characters is worthy of a *Lordy, Lordy, what a lovely book* hallelujah. I was expecting a run-of-the-mill rant on teen life and it’s never ending bag of fretful surprises. It was only the mystical tweak in the plot that pushed me to read the book.

But here’s a tale that straddles light hearted teen drama and deeper, heart-wrenching issues, both with equal élan. What started off as a chatty, *curl-up-with-a-Cinnabon* kind of YA read soon matured into a *Cinnabon-long-forgotten* emotional story. The narrative had humour, sarcastic quips, mini-stingers and scorching tasers, the ability to make you give a half-smile or sometimes a long-suffering shake of your head AND ultimately, a little but important twist at the tail that makes you simply want to bawl your eyes out.

I want my friends to read this book..... not because it will go down as the next great classic. But because, it’s a frank, funny and dignified tale of a girl who is loud, at times irritating, not shy by any means and not, NEVER EVER a victim. It’s a story about being sassy and honest and NOT hiding behind pages of simmering tension. It’s about facing your friends, because as the mighty Dumbledore rightly said,

“It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies, but a great deal more to stand up to your friends."

It’s about bringing all your cards to the table and telling the world that,
'Hey! Yep..that’s me. Take me and even if you do leave me...well, I’m still going to be me.'

If this book were human, it would lace up it’s combat boots, wink jauntily and sway it’s hips as it walked off into the world.

RATING : 5/5

The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes

To have a slight measure of the pleasant chills that race up and down your spine when you delve into a meaty Holmes mystery, do read the introduction passage by Mark Gatiss (co-creator of BBC Entertainment’s Sherlock). Amidst a host of admirable emotions, Gatiss’ one nostalgic paragraph captured my fancy. It goes thusly,

“I’d never read any of the original stories until one fateful Saturday when, recovering from German measles, I was given a treat : a trip to WH Smith, and the purchase of any book I wanted. There, nestling amongst all the possible contenders for my shiny fifty-pence piece was a gorgeous, plump, purple Pan paperback, with a colour-tinted Sidney Paget illustration on the cover: The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes. Everything about it promised the thrill of mystery and the faintly queasy allure of Victoriana with which I was already and headily in love. But first came the introduction. I can’t remember much about it now, except that it ended with the moving sentiment: I wish I were reading these stories for the first time.“

*I wish I were reading these stories for the first time*

Never has a statement so effectively captured the sheer bliss of nose-diving into an old and much cherished spot of literature. What prompted me to revisit the series was BBC Entertainment’s hugely popular and marvellously brilliant show : *SHERLOCK*. A fellow fan, sharp reviewer and possessor of the prodigious talent to pick the perfect book (Yes, Mith....I am talking about you) and yours truly were jamming up our Tumblr dashboards with the magnificence of a certain Mr. Benedict Cumberbatch. Said Cumberbatch has done a splendid job of yanking Mr.Holmes into modern day London and playing him with aplomb....... It doesn’t hurt that he’s very easy on the eyes too.

Ergo, when Cumberbatch (he of the cupid curls, vertiginous cheekbones and manic eye-glint) with his trusty bro-mate, Watson (Martin Freeman) graced the cover of yet another Sherlock edition, I had to lay my hands on it. All the foaming-at-the-mouth fans (and I mean that in the nicest way possible since I unashamedly head the pack) can be forgiven for labouring under the misconception that this book here, is a TV Series adaptation. It’s not.

Sadly...well, not really (because, *KNOCK KNOCK*, it’s Sherlock Holmes, the O.R.I.G.I.N.A.L.)...the book is a reprint of the twelve original mysteries as written by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

So when Holmes is not marvelling over the cleverness of Irene Adler, he’s scratching his head over the sudden collapse of the Red-Haired League. Whether it’s the trivial case of the Blue Carbuncle or the horrifying finale of the Speckled Band, Holmes is striding about with a befuddled Watson in tow. Dignities are being restored....genteel ladies are being chivalrously rescued.....and pages are being fraught with drama, deceit and old-fashioned danger. In short, everything that you would expect from the most famous detective of all fictional times.

What could I write in my review that would add anything new to the reams that have been dedicated to the snarkiest sleuth of them all? How do I delve into a character that’s a delightful blend of humility and egotism? How do I gush and fawn over a mind that could dissect an individual down to the tiniest speck of dust on the tip of his frock-coat?

From the moment a knock falls at the door of 221B Baker Street, you know that you are in for a treat. From the pithy to the sensational, no case escaped the interest of Holmes and his partner in crime-solving, Dr.Watson. Holmes would settle down before the roaring fireplace, light his pipe, give the despairing individual a clinical onceover, draw his (almost always correct)conclusions and then just as quickly, proceed to unravel mysteries on the strength of observation, infallible logic and that essential spark of genius cloaked in eccentricities.

In the times of darkly dreaming Dexter and stiletto wearing Detective Kate Beckett, Holmes may pale in comparison. And then again....maybe he won’t. In the cold of Victorian London, amidst the ladies who sniffed into their lacy kerchiefs and the gentleman who blustered around in their breeches, Holmes cut a dashing figure. With his dry wit and baffling disguises, he plundered the murky underbelly (ah, how I love my clichés) of crime, and almost always got his man/woman/murderous cult.

Yes, we love our modern day detective-dramas and high-octane police chases. We love the forensics lab with it’s meticulously laid out tools. We love the fact that a well-worded Google search might just catch that horrendous serial killer by the end of the one hour episode.

But, as Steven Moffat (co-creator of BBC Entertainment’s Sherlock) puts it:

"Conan Doyle's stories were never about frock coats and gas light; they're about brilliant detection, dreadful villains and blood-curdling crimes – and frankly, to hell with the crinoline. Other detectives have cases, Sherlock Holmes has adventures, and that's what matters."

Flipped

I want to hire and float a conspicuous Blimp that declares in giant letters:

*WENDELIN VAN DRAANEN IS MY NEW FAVOURITE AUTHOR*

I don’t need a body of her work to make this declaration. One book is enough. One sweet, solitary book called Flipped is enough.
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Just before Second Grade was about to start, little Juli Baker fell instantly in love with her new next-door neighbour, Bryce Loski. She fell hard for his beautiful blue eyes and followed him around like an eager l’il pup. Sadly, little Bryce Loski didn’t return the sentiment. Juli Baker terrified him, with her heart-on-her-sleeve approach, her forthrightness, her intelligence and her niggling habit of sniffing his hair in class. Young life is a rigmarole of Juli being oblivious to Bryce’s dislike and Bryce making every possible polite/panicky attempt to ward off the little ball of spirited fire.

But perceptions change when Juli’s beloved Sycamore tree is cut down. Juli had loved the ancient tree with it’s moulting bark, sprawling branches and vertiginous height. Atop it’s highest arms, she had viewed the world in a whole new light. Even the breeze up there smelled different. As she imaginatively put it

“It smelled like ....sunshine. Like sunshine and wild grass and pomegranates and rain!”.

When the owner decides to get the tree lopped off, Juli puts up an isolated, valiant fight...but to no avail. As her little slice of heaven vanishes, Juli’s understanding of the world around her and Bryce in particular start shifting.

Dear ol’Bryce has been undergoing a mental growth too. Bludgeoned by some quick lessons in maturity, he slowly but steadily is experiencing a change in his *run-here-comes-madmonkey-Juli* viewpoint. Suddenly he wants to be caught by Juli...but Juli no longer wants to do the running.
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So yes, there’s nothing new in the plotline. Unrequited love which slowly changes seats is a plot that has been tried and tested in the annals of Ya-Lit for a lo-oong time.

But Flipped takes it to a whole new level.

First up, Juli Baker. How can anyone NOT love this brave, intelligent, massive-soul girl? Bryce’s astute grandfather wisely sums it up as

"Some of us get dipped in flat, some in satin, some in gloss. But every once in a while you find someone who’s iridescent, and when you do, nothing will ever compare."

Juli Baker is a brightly shining star and all her emotions annihilate you with their honesty.

Secondly, Bryce Loski. How could a girl like Juli fall for a seemingly shallow lad like Bryce? But that’s the beauty of it. The beauty of love that has been rammed down our collective sensibilities through that trite little phrase “Love is Blind”. Yes, Juli falls for the dark hair and brilliant blue eyes. It’s only when she sees him, as her dad would say, “In the proper light” that her long-standing infatuation falters. The sweet bit is that Bryce isn’t all that bad. But that’s for you to find out.

Thirdly, the author’s voice. With the *He Said-She Said* format, Wendelin Van Draanen strikes a massive gong in your heart. You remember your first crush, the clammy hands, the hammering heart, the need to have a tongue that spills something deeper than ‘erm...er...aah’. You recall the pain of unrequited love and cringe at embarrassing follies. You reminisce over that inner glow that came from having your affection returned. Flipped makes you proud that in the first flush of youth, you were a *Juli Baker*. If you got your emotions sullied by a cluck-faced Bryce Polski who didn’t know better, you lived and learned and stuck your nose up and got on with life.

And ultimately, Flipped makes you want to be a person like Bryce’s grandmother. I want, with all my heart and soul to be the kind of woman, that if a brave little girl is sitting up on a favourite tree to save it from being timbered off....I would sit right up there with her, by her side....all night.

If you haven’t read this book yet, PLEASE DO! It won't change your life. It won't make you suddenly see the light at the end of the tunnel. Hell, it would probably make a few of you scratch your heads and wonder what all the fuss is about. But...if you want to come away utterly enchanted with a fledgling love story that is innocent, carefully layered within sheets of startling maturity and soft sentimentalism, then Flipped is the book for you.

Moon Called (The Mercedes Thompson Series, #1)

I start 2012 with a book that does absolute justice to all the genres/ GoodReads shelves that I stacked it in.

a) Urban Fantasy – CHECK
b) Action – (*wiping blood off cut lip*) CHECK
c) Mystery – (*calming the goosebumps*) CHECK
d) Adventure – (*recovering from adrenaline rush*) CHECK
e) Interesting romantic interests – (*will-they, won’t they quandary*) CHECK
f) Strong female heroine worth emulating – (*pressing pen into the paper till a tear appears*) CHECK


Moon Called is the first in a truly triumphant series centered around a spunky heroine called Mercedes (Mercy)Thompson. Mercy is a mechanic in the Tri-Cities area of Washington state. She restores VWs and spends her spare time sharpening her karate skills. But more importantly, Mercy is a WALKER (a Native-American shapeshifter not influenced by the moon) who can turn into a coyote at will. Our heroine resides in a world teeming with Gray Lords, fae, vampires and the most fascinating of them all, werewolves. Raised by the Marrok (the alpha werewolf of all the North American werewolves), Mercy has seen, experienced and lived through a series of improbable events. Nothing really surprises her anymore. Not the fact that her next door neighbour is Adam Hauptman, the alpha of the Tri-Cities Werewolf pack, nor the fact that the current VW bus she is working on belongs to a friendly vampire and definitely not the added surprise that her newest recruit in the garage is a runaway teenage werewolf.

But when a rogue werewolf meets a grizzly end at Mercy’s hands (or her coyote paws, to be precise), Mercy soon learns that there is a dangerous conspiracy lurking in the dark. All the people who Mercy holds dear are in danger of an unseen enemy. And it’s up to our .444 Marlin toting heroine to deal with things that go bump in the night.

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First up, Buffy Summers would be bursting with pride. If anyone can tote the mantle of awesomeness around with the ease that Buffy did.....it’s Mercedes Thompson. Kudos to the author, Patricia Briggs for creating a heroine who is dignified mess of an unresolved past, a fraught-with-danger present and an uncertain future. Mercy is mouthy and sensible in equal measures. She fights like a fiend and deliberates like an army veteran. In short, she unashamedly kicks b***.

I also enjoyed the fact that the author actually gave us a well-researched, whole-hearted fantasy tale. Moon Called isn’t a romantic tryst thinly disguised as a supernatural read. It’s a full-fledged paranormal fiesta with romance as just one of the many poles holding it upright.

2011 ended with a firm resolution on my part to fill the New Year with erudite verse. I wanted to re-explore the classics, soak in some eloquent language and generally don the smarty-pants party-hat.
But I have to say true to my nature too. While I love me some Elizabeth Bennet, I equally adore an action-heroine. And when said action figure comes equipped with a cookie-dough heart, a wise disposition and the ability to keep a cool head when the world goes mad.....you bet your last fancy britches, that I will devour the book with glee.

Saving Juliet

Saving Juliet is a book that is loaded with platitudes and wise homilies and never, not once...do you want to tell the author that she should mind her sanctimonious beeswax and get on with the plot already!

So kudos to Suzanne Selfors for getting it right yet again.

Seventeen year old Mimi Wallingford is last in the line of the legendary Wallingford actors. Thrust onto the stage from the age of three, Mimi’s life has been a whirl of grease paint, deadweight costumes, mouthy dialogues, unpalatable health food, pushy relatives and vindictive understudies. And now, when it’s time to play the role of the anguished Juliet from William Shakespeare’s celebrated tragic-romance, she just can’t take it anymore. Debilitating stage-fright, the hopeless wish to pursue a career as a doctor, constant pressure from a pushy mother and an unrequited attraction to the new Romeo (played by the flamboyant pop-sensation, Troy Summer) makes Mimi wish that she were anywhere but at the Wallingford theatre, Manhattan. Hell, even Verona would be a better bet.

But wishes spouted in despair have a sadistic habit of actually coming true; especially when you have an antique Shakespearean Charm handy. Suddenly Mimi is transported to the fictional land of Verona...the land of the feuding Montague and Capulet families...the land of Romeo and Juliet. Mimi is now smack-dab in the midst of a vile, hairline-plucked Lady Capulet; a codpiece thrusting Tybalt, a delectable, espresso-eyed Benvolio, a deeply depressed Romeo, a rebellious Juliet and the most shocking addition yet, a seriously pissed-off Troy Summer who’s convinced that he has been kidnapped by a group of kinky creeps.

Mimi can sense that the only way to return to present-day Manhattan would be to allow the Shakespearean saga to reach it’s inevitable end. But having actually met the spunky Juliet and the soft-hearted Romeo, Mimi can’t imagine leaving them to the suicidal ending written by our benevolent Bard. It’s time for Mimi to take the quill into her own hands.

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Reasons why this tale will find a place on my “Books-I-Love-Gollum-Style” shelf:

a) Cheeky cover. How can you NOT love the cover art? Bubblegum and Snazzy glares adorning a seemingly genteel olde worlde maiden. Me.Like.

b) Female Lead. A supposedly self-absorbed Society princess plonked head first into a land infested with giants rodents but not a single Starbucks. You would expect her to whinge, cringe and generally be an insufferable snob. But no, Mimi is an immensely grounded heroine. Whether she’s playing big-sister to Juliet or commiserating with Romeo or avoiding a red-faced Tybalt or falling for the slick charms of Benvolio or fighting her confusing feelings for Troy; she endears herself to the reader.

c) Characters. The author breathed realistic life and tongue-in-cheek humour into the characterisations.

I especially liked the way she described Juliet :“She wasn’t at all like Fernando’s Juliet – full-lipped and perfect. Nor was she like Hollywood’s Juliet – graceful and angelic. She looked real, the way a girl is supposed to look. A real girl, cute and full of energy, like she’d be more comfortable in soccer gear than in her long nightgown that dripped with lace and bows.”

Scarlet-haired Mercutio was a twee funny bloke. I snorted a bit over his two love songs:

‘Girl, come hither and We Shall Dither’

‘Girl, Come and Handle My Candle’

Ah, Mercutio....Mercutio....you slay me, man.

d) The author’s writing prowess : Everytime you experience a twinge of disappointment over glaring errors in the flow of the story, the author gives you a polite prod in the right direction and justifies her decisions.

e) Book to Movie : If ever a book should be made into an assured crowd-pulling Summer Blockbuster, it’s Saving Juliet. The book has it all: humour, parody, romance, intrigue, adventure and magic. I would go and watch it on the Big Screen. AND I would most definitely drag my cynical mates along too.

In conclusion, I (to be a tad juvenile) unashamedly *HEART* this cute book.

Coffeehouse Angel

Every once in a while, along comes a book that is (thankfully) deceptive. You read the blurb and do a mental rethink. The blurb sounds entertaining and yet, the book could go downhill, too soon, too fast. I ventured into Coffeehouse Angel with these misgivings. But, I’m pleased to report that I’m a happy customer.

And now it’s time to blather on for a bit and tell you why exactly I would recommend this book to all:

a) Engrossing Plotline: Katrina Svensen is an orphaned teenager who helps out in her grandmother’s Olde Worlde Scandinavian Coffeehouse. Soft of heart and clueless on life-goals, she basks in the shadows of her super-achieving best friends. And one day, when she sees a (supposedly) homeless young vagrant in the coffeehouse alley, she does a selfless good deed. She leaves him a cup of coffee, some day old pastries and a bag of chocolate covered coffee beans and hopes that the poor bloke gets a lucky break.

But here’s the nice bit. The vagrant isn’t a homeless destitute afterall. He’s an angel...an honest-to-goodness teenage messenger angel. In between missions and delivering messages, he wants to reward Katrina for her good deed by granting her the deepest desire of her heart. With three chocolate coffee beans left to work the magic, Katrina has three Godsend chances to make things right...for herself, her aspirations, her gran’s dwindling business and an uncertain future.

Will she botch it up or will she have a happy ending?

b) Believable Main Lead: I like a grounded teen heroine whose every waking thought isn’t plagued by her D.O.A. love-life. Katrina is just that. Sure she hasn’t met the boy of her dreams yet, but the mature lass has more pressing matters on hand. For a girl who has a cupboard full of failed activities, it’s empowering to see her whip herself into an entrepreneurial frenzy.

c) An ensemble cast with meaty roles : The strength of a good book lies in the little details. Besides Katrina, Coffeehouse Angel is littered with interesting characters. Notable mention: Katrina’s grandmother who is trying to keep the old traditions alive while fiercely competing with the slushie-pushing, espresso-churning charms of her biggest competitor. The beautiful, hardworking coffeehouse help, Irmgaard who has taken a vow of silence; a vow that hides a tragic secret. Katrina’s best friends: Vincent and Elizabeth. Extremely realistic portrayals as they come across as self-absorbed and supportive in equal measures.

d) Paranormal twist: Much as I love all things supernatural, I was a tad sceptical about yet another glowing boy (I haven’t stopped gritting my teeth over the insufferable Edward Cullen). But Malcolm, the golden haired messenger angel was a breath of (literally) fresh spring air. He’s not perfect, he’s weighed down by the need to get things right, he doesn’t spend the majority of the book mooning over a “forbidden love” and to round it up nicely, he’s a genuinely decent bloke.

In all, I was happy to lay my hands on a work of Ya-Lit that was readable, mature, riddled with interesting plot twists and redolent with the charm of a (yes, I’m going to say it) cup of freshly brewed coffee.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 2

At two hours and ten minutes, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 2 is the shortest film in the franchise. And within these two hours and ten minutes, Potter fans are treated to a masterpiece of epic proportions.

Harry Potter is now closer to discovering and destroying Voldemort’s remaining horcruxes. Along this journey, he has to deal with devious goblins, fire-breathing dragons, new and untried hexes, guilty ghosts, cursed fiendfyre, old enemies and the promise of a new, hitherto undiscovered, truly terrifying Horcrux. And the poor lad’s work is never done. At the end of these gruesome tasks, he must face his nemesis : The Dark Lord...The most powerful evil magician of all times...the monster who has killed Harry’s parents, his godfather, his mentor and many more who have played a poignant role in Harry’s life. Fighting and vanquishing Voldemort means accepting death gladly. It means stepping into unchartered territory with sheer guts bolstered by hope and a prayer.

Part 2 is the tale of the ultimate battle...the battle between Good and Evil...the battle between ‘The Boy-Who-Lived’ and ‘The Vile-Noseless-Villain-Who-Refused-To-Die’. It is a setting that gathers up the slow threads of Part 1 and flings it headlong into a chaotic battlescene that is awe-inspiring and heart-wrenching in equal measures.

The movie, to put it mildly is *BRILLIANT*

The movie, to put it in the words of a true-blue Potter fan is *MIND-BOGGLINGLY-FANTASTIC*

Concentrating on the ‘Battle of Hogwarts’ meant that the entire movie could have disintegrated into a never-ending round of wand-duelling, muggle-worthy punching and the dire destruction of a set that holds a special place in our hearts. Thankfully, the director (David Yates) has played a beautiful game of explosive action combined with deliciously slow and intense moments.

SPECIAL CHARACTER MENTION:

~ ‘Snape’s Memory’; one of the best chapters in the book was converted into a perfect ten-minute montage that made my vision blurry with unshed tears. Alan Rickman is always a joy to behold and his rendition of the magnificent Snape leaves you satisfied that the movie did credit to the written word.

~ Prof. McGonagall has always been one of my favourite characters. Maggie Smith as the unbending teacher with a heart of molten gold has a few (but just enough) moments that make you whoop with glee (yes, I did indeed whoop with glee)

~ Neville Longbottom (Matthew Lewis) has come such a long way from being a scared student who quivered under the scathing disapproval of a long-suffering teacher. Tall, weary and covered with battle-scars....Neville is an unlikely hero who plays a crucial role. It helps that he has some wicked-cool lines to boot.

~ Oddly enough, I don’t have much to say on Harry, Hermione and Ron. Harry (Daniel Radcliffe) plunges forth with a quiet intensity. Hermione (Emma Watson) is a tad muted but her usual spunky self. Ron (Rupert Grint) has his endearing gormless act in place. Their combination works like a well-oiled spring; courtesy the long-standing familiarity and suffice to say, the trio keep you hooked.

At the end of it all, it was so much more than just that. It was a magical battle to end all the mini-squabbles. It was a shining symbol of the power of friendship, love and loyalty. It was the befitting end of a glorious era.The director, cast and crew tied up one of the greatest and most successful stories of our time into a fitting conclusion.

Glaring dissimilarities aside, fans will be hard-pressed to nitpick.

I want to write so much more. I want to write eloquent prose that conveys my affection for these fictional characters. I want to write a glowing statement of adulation for the author who can tell a tale like no one else.

Thank you, J.K.Rowling.

Thank you for your imagination that is so rooted in reality.

Thank you for reaffirming my belief that love, friendship and faith can brighten up the darkest corners of our minds.

Thank you for the magic...

The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (Chronicles of Narnia, #2)

Whenever I visit my lovely (albeit a tad lonely) ancestral home, I instantly associate with Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy. I have the mysterious house with a few empty rooms...the boredom of being stuck-in that makes me rattle around like a disgruntled pea-in-a-pod......and......I even have an unused wardrobe. Sadly, to my abject disappointment, the wardrobe doesn’t open into Narnia or even a respectable secret passageway. (I checked). But since reading The Narnia Chronicles and having to make regular visits to my hometown; I more often than not always carry along my copy of ‘The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe’.

There’s something truly delightful of hiding in a fur coat laden wardrobe and coming out into a parallel world replete with a winter wonderland, a nasty Snow-Queen, troubled mythical creatures, and the truly splendid character of ASLAN.

ASLAN

C.S.Lewis gave a very apt description in his introduction of Aslan. It goes thus:

The Beaver said, “They say Aslan is on the move – perhaps has already landed”

And now a very curious thing happened. None of the children knew who Aslan was any more than you do; but the moment the Beaver had spoken these words everyone felt quite different. Perhaps it has sometimes happened to you in a dream that someone says something that you don’t understand but in the dream it feels as if it has some enormous meaning ¬– either a terrifying one that turns the whole dream into a nightmare or else a lovely meaning too lovely to put into words, which makes the dream so beautiful that you remember it all your life and are always wishing you could get into that dream again. It was like that now. At the name of Aslan each child felt something jump in it’s inside. Edmund felt a sense of mysterious horror. Peter felt suddenly brave and adventurous. Susan felt as if some delicious smell or some delicious strain of music had just floated by her. And Lucy got the feeling you have when you wake up in the morning and realize that it is the beginning of the holidays or the beginning of summer.

This has always been my favourite passage. It’s sheer simplicity and accuracy pens the exact emotions which we have all experienced at the onset of something life-changing (nice/nasty, depending upon our perspectives and personal demons) .Aslan is a memorable character and the tale, according to me, the best of the Narnia Chronicles. It’s believable, doesn’t drag or preach unnecessarily and is a delightful treat for fantasy-lovers like me.

I usually tend to read the book first and follow it up with the movie viewing. I love both versions and ‘The Battle Tune of Narnia’ is on my perpetual Playlist. It’s almost my own personal ‘defeat-your-demons’ tune.

The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe is the Grand Poobah of fantasy reads (Lord of The Rings, notwithstanding) and I would strongly recommend it for all wide-eyed children with a longing for magic to drive away the monotony of everyday life. If I could, I would also insist on scornful adults to capture a bit of their young wonderment and escape into The Land of Narnia.

C.S.Lewis in his dedication to his goddaughter, aptly summed it up:

“Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy-tales again”

Pirates of the Caribbean : On Stranger Tides

A handful of gibbering Anthropoids and the odd cachinnating Cockatoo are of the opinion that the fourth instalment in the Pirates of The Caribbean (POC) franchise is not a patch on the first. Well, d-oh...there’s a reason it’s called an "original"!

As for me, I will always be a fan of the scraggly, irreverent, semi-sozzled, kohl-eyed Captain Jack Sparrow. You don’t need to be a prepubescent tween or a snarky, think-I’ve-seen-it-all teenager or even a high-on-testosterone adult male to enjoy the mad trip. For an armchair traveller like me, Captain Sparrow is the best tour guide. EVER.

So what do we have in this offering?

King George II (Potter fans will recognize a Mr.Dursley under the additional layers of quivering blubber) has forced Capt.Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) to guide an expedition to ‘The Fountain of Youth’. Good ol’Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) has (allegedly) cleaned up his act and is now a well-shod privateer who will head aforementioned expedition. Barbossa has lost his leg and Jack's beloved ship, The Black Pearl. Angered by the loss of the latter, Jack escapes...only to fall into the clutches of the vile and villainous Blackbeard (Ian McShane): scourge of the high-seas, dabbler in dark-arts and father to the luscious Angelica (Penelope Cruz, being delightfully Spanish and shrewish). What ensues is a riotous trip loaded with fang-bearing mermaids, missionaries with six-packs, painfully pierced and tattooed zombies and ol’reliably-unreliable : Captain Jack Sparrow.

The plot may drag in places. The characters may have stilted moments. Old favourite may be absent. New entrants may lack the chutzpah of the veterans. But the Good Pirate holds the movie together with his eccentricities. He cuts a swash buckling, albeit grimy figure as he battles over tumbling barrels....leads doomed mutinies......romances the conniving Angelica....matches wits with the ever reliable Barbossa....and deals with the cool menace of BlackBeard.

In all, not a great flick but a watchable summer one, nevertheless.

Five Flavors of DUMB

An obscure school-band wins the local *Battle-of-the-Bands* and struts about like it’s the next great thing since sliced bread. An equally obscure but diligent student disses the band’s shenanigans in front of it’s groupies and finds herself at the receiving end of an unexpected challenge : Get the band a paying gig within a month and she’ll be it’s official manager with a sizeable share in the band’s future profits.

How does a complete musical-heathen manage a band that’s a worrying mix of:

1) A manipulative, self-absorbed lead singer.

2) A completely gorgeous but utterly talentless piece of eye-candy.

3) An angry girl-rocker with spiky green hair and a barbed wire attitude.

4) A silent guitarist who hides from the world and possibly the other band members too, behind the curtains of his overlong hair.

5) A nerd-boy drummer who plays like a dream but doesn’t fit the hard rock image.

More importantly, how does the aforementioned musical-heathen manage a musical group when she’s DEAF?

THAT single, sole premise had me ordering the book in a flash. Tons of repetitive YA Lit with the same tired, clichéd plot lines later....this book resonated with originality.

Piper Vaughn makes an endearing main lead. She’s deaf but never down. Through a blend of sign-language and efficient lip-reading she gets by just fine. But managing a rock band seems like an improbable challenge. How does an eighteen year old (burdened with enough baggage of her own) pull together a bursting-at-the-seams band and make it work?

The book could have gone wrong in so many ways. It could have been preachy or self-deprecating. It could have started off on a promising note and then ended up in the YA Lit pit of teen angst, unrequited love and peer pressure.

Thankfully, the author stuck to his guns. Sure there’s angst. There’s love. And betrayal. And parents who don’t understand. But the author never veers from the main subject. It’s about a girl. A girl with a condition that she doesn’t consider as a disability. And said girl has to manage a band. CASE CLOSED.

Five Flavours of Dumb holds equal appeal for the ones who know their discerning genres of rock as well as for those who wouldn’t blink an eyelid if Cobain materialized before their eyes.

A minty fresh idea handled with humour, sparkling dialogue and the ability to give you food for thought.

Girl, 15, Charming But Insane

You can read a multitude of truly bad books and wonder whether your ability to pick a decent read has become non-existent

OR

You can delve deep into your cupboard and unearth an old and reliable favourite and make up for reams of bad plot/prose/characters.

Girl 15, Charming but Insane belongs to the latter category.

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways:

~ The title: It immediately grabs eyeballs. It is quirky, hints at a teen who will rant but in a way that promises to be hilarious and engaging.

~ Main character : Jess. Jess is a dark-haired, slightly (ever-so slightly) overweight Brit teen . She displays typical teen behaviour and rants and rave as one, who is young and mad at the world and it’s uncle, would. But she is also supremely talented and hopes to become a stand-up comedian someday. She’s clumsy, goofy, up for a well-executed prank and has a good heart (outlined by a thin layer of the sarcastic-devil). She hankers after the school’s boy-wonder (Ben Jones); is jealous and proud in equal parts of her beautiful best friend (Flora) and to top it all, comes from a broken family.

~ Aforementioned Broken Family: Jess’s mum is a throwback to the seventies. She is a hare-brained , fighting-for-a-cause librarian. Despite her “men-are-ruthless-manipulative-degenerate-scum-of the-earth” rants, she has a fairly decent relationship with her ex-husband (Jess’ dad). Jess’ dad is an artist living in St.Ives. Although he is wary of expressing sappy-love for his estranged daughter, he shoots a daily horrorscope sms to her. (For e.g. “You will open your wardrobe and find Marilyn Manson roosting there”). It’s an oddly healthy arrangement which seems to work for the trio.

~ Jess’ maternal grandmother: Granny is a blend of old-world fuzziness and homicide-happy bloodthirst. Pulp Fiction is one of her favourite flicks and she routinely scours the papers for grisly murders. She carries her dear departed husband’s ashes around in an urn and it wouldn’t be an odd sight to see said-urn accompanying the rest of the family members at the breakfast table.

~Love Interest: The apple of Jess’s forbidden lust is Ben Jones --- Blonde, blue-eyed and beautiful in a Beckham look-alike way. Luckily, the author has not typecast Ben as a love ‘em and chuck’ em type. He displays a refreshing sensitivity for a high school jock and is a likeable character.

~Best mate (and potential love interest): You have to love Fred Parsons. He is tall, gangly and smart-mouthed. Bearing a resemblance to the humble owl, Fred is Jess’ partner in comedic-crime. He’s witty, prone to mouthing exaggerated dialogue and is Jess’ true port in a storm.

There are several other factors that work together to make this a truly enjoyable read. The droll British humour combined with Jess’ fantastical imagination and over-the-top musings make you smile.

This is a book that makes it to my list of *must-haves* + *must-travel-with* + *must-store-with-ardent-adoration-in-silk-lined-trunk* + *must-possess-in-new-land-after-surviving-the-apocalypse*.

Shrek Forever After

Happily Ever After can get a tad tiresome. For Shrek(Mike Myers), atleast. Whatever happened to villagers running scared or alternatively chasing you with pitchforks and torches? Whatever happened to making mud angels in the squelchy swamp mud?? Whatever happened to just putting up your toes and enjoying an eyeball martini?!?

The now fully domesticated Shrek is missing his old lifestyle. The midlife crisis has hit early and the present seems to be nothing but an endless rote of changing diapers, burping three babies and playing much-loved ogre to his large group of adoring friends. When he finally snaps and storms off from his kiddies’ first birthday party, he unfortunately (and conveniently) runs into the magic deal-maker; Rumpelstiltskin(Walt Dohrn). The wily creature, having witnessed Shrek’s outburst offers him a deal. In exchange for one day as a real ogre, Rumpelstiltskin asks for one day from Shrek’s childhood.

But beware of midgets bearing curlicue-scripted deals.

Unbeknownst to Shrek, ol’Rumpy has been nurturing a long-festering grudge against him. When a harried Shrek signs on the dotted line, he soon finds himself in an alternative reality. What he doesn’t know is that Rumpelstiltskin took the day Shrek was born.

So sure, the villagers scream and run at the sight of him now. But it’s also a place where his home has never existed. Rumpelstiltskin is the king of Far Far Away and is a dictatorial ruler to boot. Fiona(Cameron Diaz) is not his wife. She’s a fearsome warrior heading an underground resistance against the monarchy. Donkey(Eddie Murphy) doesn’t recognize Shrek and the suave Puss in Boots(Antonio Banderas) has degenerated into an obese, pampered pet. And as a final twist, Rumpelstiltskin declares that within 24 hours, Shrek, having never been born, will cease to exist altogether.

I ♥ The Shrek Franchise…shamelessly and unapologetically. I don’t care how many sequels they churn out. I don’t care if they are not exactly cinematic masterpieces. I will always love Shrek, Fiona, Donkey, Puss in Boots, Dragon, Gingee, The Three Pigs, Pinocchio and the rest of the enchanting cast. I don’t care if people find the wordplay tedious…it’s funny and a delightful poke-in-the-ribs of all the fairy tales that I have grown up reading. So maybe the makers couldn’t recreate the magic of the original SHREK. But they did do their fair share and should be applauded for creating characters that remain fresh with every new inning.

The last (or so they claim) instalment in the series is quite entertaining and has a healthy dose of reality stitched in. Even the most content amongst us wish for something more. Never happy, are we? And Shrek is no different. A loving wife, three beautiful kids and a crowd that adores him are not enough. And so begins the misadventure. The characters are achingly funny….whether it’s a crooning Donkey playing pack-mule cum radio or a wheezing Puss sliding inelegantly down his cat-pole. Fiona is still the soft-voiced feminist that puts all prissy princesses to shame. And the wonderful Shrek still manages to make you smile with his portrayal of a frustrated main-lead.

In all, a great soundtrack, whip-smart dialogue and an ensemble cast that almost always makes you break into one of Donkey’s signature grins.

The Hunger Games

Someone posed a very interesting question in a Book Review : Why is it so hard to talk about the books we love?
One would assume that after devouring the book in one sitting, the accolades would flow in a never-ending torrent…that our ravings would be an incoherent babble as we bored our listeners to glazed eyes and barely-concealed yawns. But such a book deserves respect and a well thought-out review. A review that doesn’t sound like glorified fan-mail but is infact, a point of reference for those who dither and hem and haw over whether the book should be picked up or not.

The Hunger Games is one such shining example. I am one of the last few to fall prey to the Katniss-Gayle-Peeta addiction. Although fellow readers wrote sparkling reviews, I was sceptical. I didn’t want another “Twilight Saga” on my hands. I wanted a worthy contender for the magic created up wee Potterkins. And I found such a challenger in plucky Katnis Everdeen and her tale of guts and glory.

In a post-apocalyptic North America, lies a nation called Panem. Run by the autocratic CAPITOL, it is surrounded by 12 Districts. The CAPITOL wields a stinging whip over the surrounding areas by forcing them to send one boy and one girl (between the ages of twelve and eighteen) to participate in the annual Hunger Games. The Hunger Games is the reality show to end all reality-shows…a cruel form of entertainment where the contenders fight to the death on Live TV.

Sixteen year-old Katniss Everdeen from District 12 becomes one such contender when she steps forward to take the place of her younger sister, Prim. And so begins the macabre game of survival. Despite having been a hunter all her life, Katniss must now bring forth all her skills to stay alive. What makes the game particularly poignant is the fact that none of the contenders are truly enemies. Hence elements of surprise, brutality, treachery and even murder are all reluctant weapons to be employed against one another. As the CAPITOL plays puppet-master, it is up to the fiery Katniss and fellow contender from District 12, Peeta Mellark (the baker’s son) to keep their souls intact as they dabble in the deadly game.

In true reality-show tradition, the Master Card of Love is thrown in to spice up the proceedings. Katniss and Peeta are instructed to play star-crossed lovers…lovers who know that there can be only one survivor in the end…One Survivor…One Winner who will bring glory to his/her district and a life of never having to experience poverty ever again.

I can truthfully say that I loved the book and it’s host of characters. Katniss Everdeen makes a splendid main-lead. Following in the tradition of Hermione Granger, she exhibits a admirable cache of skill, valour and the ability to hold her head in worst-case scenarios. Love interests, Peeta and Gale lay the promising foundations for a sure to-be-followed triangle.

Author Suzanne Collins is the mistress of her craft. As she knits in loop-holes around the least expected corners, she leaves you gasping with disbelief. And just when, with all the pomposity of a long-time reader, you assume that you have the plot all tied-up in your head…………she throws a spanner in the works!

Yes, this is a series that I am definitely going to follow. I am going to haunt bookstores looking for the next instalment. I am going to read plot-summaries, character assassinations and improbable fan-fiction on the various online forums. I am going to froth at the mouth as I recommend the series to my long-suffering friends. I am going to plaster my desktop with fan-art from DeviantArt.com. I am going to look forward to the movie-release and in true book loyalist fashion, I am…MOST DEFINITELY going to shake my head despairingly and claim that yes…the book was better than the movie.

The Immortals of Meluha (Book Review)

"When evil reaches epic proportions, when all seems lost, when it appears that your enemies have triumphed………a HERO will emerge"

…and emerge he does…with style and chutzpah and sheer PRESENCE!

Lord Shiva is undoubtedly the coolest God of the Indian Pantheon. With his dread-locks and tiger-skin attire……he oozes charisma, has definitive Rockstar leanings and epitomises the “I-give-a-flying-fig” attitude to the hilt.

Amish’s take on the original alpha-male is that of a Tibetan tribal war-lord. Set in 1900 BC, Shiva is a brawny, war-weary youngster. Constant, brutal clashes with an opposing tribe seem to be the sorry way of life. So when a tempting offer comes from the land of Meluha (or the Indus Valley Civilization, as we know it), Shiva graciously accepts. Meluha, an almost perfect empire was created centuries ago by the good king, Lord Rama and it promises immigrants like Shiva and his ilk, a life that is peaceful and free from disorder.

But beware of Meluhans bearing gifts! When a standard clinical procedure of drinking a medicine called *Somras* turns Shiva’s throat into a startlingly blue colour, his destiny is changed forever.

The Meluhan empire ruled by the noble Suryavanshis is facing trouble on several fronts: Bitter feuds with their arch enemies, The Chandravanshis…the gradual drying up of the holy river, Saraswati which plays a crucial role in the manufacture of Somras (the elixir which has kept the Meluhans young and healthy for hundreds of years)…and the dreaded terrorist attacks by the widely feared group of sinister Nagas.

A battle between Good and Evil hovers like a pregnant rain-cloud and the Suryavanshis are confident that Shiva is The Neelkanth – the blue-throated one, destined to lead them to a much-yearned for victory.

For a weed-smoking barbarian like Shiva, the concept of him being a messiah is laughable. He would much rather concentrate his energies on winning the love of the dignified Sati who treats him with barely concealed contempt. But love is intertwined with war and a hero cannot be kept down for long. Evil must be destroyed and Shiva rises to the task splendidly.

And here lies another crucial question. What exactly is Evil? Are we prejudiced by our self-righteous view points? If our opponent has something different to bring to the table, does that make his opinion wrong? Evil, almost??? Can Gods or humans elevated to the gleaming pedestal of Godliness make mistakes?

Shiva is a turbulent blend of these confusions. While his appearances in battle are awe-inspiring in their ferocity, he is burdened by his inner demons. He is a synergy of a young man who inspires bonhomie amongst his peers, a warrior who can raze the enemies in a burst of raw fury and a lover who just wants to impress his heart’s desire with a spell-bounding display of exquisite dance moves.

The story, the first in a trilogy would appeal to fantasy/ mythology lovers. The network of characters is rich and varies from supercilious kings to cryptic sages to dignified princesses to crusty generals to patriotic aides to smarmy villains to sinister anti-heroes. Lord Shiva is the icing on the cake; strong, kind-hearted, irrelevant and ruled by his passions. For those familiar with Indian Mythology,stay alert as various legends are weaved in with precision, laying the groundwork for a much-awaited sequel.

Little Women

‘Dear little bird! See, Jo how tame it is. I like peeps better than the gulls: they are not so wild and handsome, but they seem happy, confiding little things. I used to call them my birds last summer, and Mother said they reminded her of me – busy, quaker-coloured creatures, always near the shore, and always chirping that contented little song of theirs. You are the gull, Jo, strong and wild, fond of the storm and the wind, flying far out to sea, and happy all alone. Meg is the turtledove, and Amy is like the lark she writes about, trying to get up among the clouds, but always dropping down into it’s nest again’………

………and with those whimsical comparisons, the shy Beth nailed the four March sisters to the tee. Little Women, set at the turn of the Civil War explored the lives...the loves...the quirks... the disappointments...the shadows and the triumphs of the March family and continues to enchant even today.

Every female mind with a literal leaning will associate with Jo. We see our failings mirrored in her, hope for a glimpse of our backbone in her strident ravings and happily proclaim to all who will listen that yep…"I am a JO". I am no different. Right from page 1 till the wee end, I remained a member of the 'Jo Fan-Club'. She was blunt, honest as the day is long AND a no frills, raggedy-cat to boot. At a time when social graces were the order of the day, Jo clomped through her genteel surroundings with all the grace of the proverbial bull-in-a-china shop. She loved her family fiercely and no sacrifice was too great or small where they were concerned. She pursued her writing-career with all the highs-and-lows that plague every fledgling author.

When I was younger, I had read only the first section. So when I heard that Jo had turned down the loyal and cheeky Laurie, I was a tad disappointed. Now, as the years have passed and I have read both sections in their entirety, I am content with the decision. Laurie's lovable, carefree boy of Part 1 dissolved into a sulky, wilful young man in Part 2. And Prof.Bhaer, for all his poverty and seniority and shabbiness of appearance was a true hero. As Jo aptly puts it: Mother would admire him for his warm heart, Father his wise head. I admire both, and feel rich in my new “friend Friedrich Bhaer”. Once more, our mighty heroine makes the right choice and gives us further cause to bolster her on her pedestal.

Little Women for me, will always be about Jo. Kudos to Louisa May Alcott for recreating herself, adding a few charming bits and creating a character who stays fresh even today.

James Dean Poster

UP!

Carl Fredrickson is a chubby,nerdy lil boy in awe of the intrepid adventurer, Charles F.Muntz. Sharing his enthusiasm is the talkative tomboy Ellie. Ellie hopes to someday fulfil her dream of moving her clubhouse on the legendary Paradise Falls in South America.

As time goes by, Ellie and Carl get married and have an almost-idyllic life. Despite their inability to have children (or maybe because of it), they hold on to the dream of someday reaching the elusive falls. But financial obligations always intrude and just when the cherished trip is within sight, Ellie falls ill and passes away.

Carl is now a lonely, crotchety old man hanging tight to his memories and his cottage. All around him, the concrete jungle is laying down roots and threatening his little space. An unfortunate altercation with one of the site-men and Carl is ordered by the court to move into a retirement home.

But Carl (who was once a balloon salesman) has other plans up his sleeve. He uses what seem a like a gazillion helium balloons to lift his house UP and away from it’s foundations. He intends to fulfil the promise he made to Ellie. However he is unaware that he has an hapless stowaway in the form a Russell,
a Wilderness Explorer trying to earn his final merit badge for "Assisting the Elderly".

Together the two set off on an adventure of a lifetime, encountering a tropical flightless bird, Dug the dog with a talking-collar and an unlikely villain complete with a snarling team of henchmen (read:dogs).

UP is beautiful in it’s simplicity. Using an aging man as the protagonist, PIXAR weaves a tale that touches even the grittiest of hearts. One of the truly memorable bits is the montage of Carl and Ellie’s married life…silent shots accompanied only by the strains of a haunting melody, it leaves you with a knot in your throat.

And in the midst of the reaching-for-the-tissuebox moments, PIXAR does what it does best….full-on action, breathtaking animation, quicksilver dialogue. What you have is a film that offers something for all ages.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer : The Evil that Men Do

Word of Caution: Not recommended to be read as a meal-time accompaniment (believe me, I tried)

A hitherto popular Grade A student goes on a vicious killing spree. The town of Sunnydale deals with the shock by turning into a lynch mob; attacking each other, spreading havoc and letting their inner nastiness run rampant. Sadly, the slayer-brigade is not immune and their anger bursts forth in all it’s vitriolic glory.

Adding that essential degree of creepiness is the return of an ancient and extremely powerful vampire, Helen and her equally sadistic lover, Julian. Helen was known for her violent murders of slayers over the centuries and Buffy is next on her fang-list. The couple also intend raising the goddess of destruction, Meter and for the resurrection, the Slayer has a crucial (unbeknownst to her) role to play.

I am not big on blood and gore…creatures of the night…or Horror as a genre, per se. But with so many people salivating over the Twilight Series (which I personally feel would make any self-respecting vamp want to stake himself), I needed to revisit the magic of a truly wicked and original show: Buffy The Vampire Slayer.

The television series was truly iconic. Buffy’s perky-cheerleader-who-can-kick-dead-butt act; Xander’s sarcasm; Giles’ oddly comforting presence; Willow’s supreme Wiccan perfection and Angel’s brooding portrayal of a vampire-with-a-soul...all are permanently etched in popular culture.

While the book cannot effectively recreate the splendid action sequences, the author does a slick job with the dialogue-delivery, quips and lightening fast repartee. Nancy Holder has dutifully followed the series and recreated Sunnydale’s human ( and demonic) residents to perfection.

Betty's Diary - Comic Book Covers

The wit of Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce

• Korea's pretty much the same story: the fighting goes on, the hatred, the violence, the senseless brutality, men behaving like animals - and then there's the war.
• Don't worry, I've never lost a patient. I never lose anything. Have you seen my stethoscope?
• Let's shoot him and put him out of our misery
• Frank was once the innocent victim of possession. Through some tragic error they exorcized the nice guy and left that.
• I will not carry a gun, Frank. When I got thrown into this war I had a clear understanding with the Pentagon: no guns. I'll carry your books, I'll carry a torch, I'll carry a tune, I'll carry on, carry over, carry forward, Cary Grant, cash and carry, carry me back to Old Virginia, I'll even 'hari-kari' if you show me how, but I will not carry a gun!
• You know what they say Charles, time wounds all heals.
• Look, I realize I'm dressed to kill, but don't take it literally.